What do you feel like you do all day? From sunrise to sundown on the go. Making sure what needs to happen happens. Taking it all on board and perhaps even beating yourself up if it doesn’t all get done.
Then the next day… rinse, wash, repeat…
YAWN. Hamster – wheel anyone?
What is this? Well, it is known as the mental load.
The scientific definition from the American Sociological Review describes it as the responsibility of “anticipating needs, identifying options for filling them, making decisions, and monitoring progress.”
What does it mean in real life? Our thoughts, activities, and the day to day is consumed with getting stuff done and worrying about it.
Who suffers most from mental load? Women do by nature, design or due to their roles in society; it can be exhausting, leading to a multitude of health and relationship issues.
So what can we do to reduce / overcome it?
This BLOG explores five things you can do now to help ease the mental load.
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Express Yourself
It is so hard for many of us.
Saying what you feel and asking for help. It opens us up to being vulnerable.
It can be very hard to find ways to help with the mental load without doing so.
There are two key points here to remember and help you:
- People want to help more often than not if they can.
- If you struggle with this, professionals exist to help you build the confidence and strength to express yourself.
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Set Boundaries
Our mental load i significantly impacted when we let go of our boundaries to get things done and please all those around us.
Do you know who you end up trying to please? Those who don’t matter as much as your inner circle of family and friends.
Firstly you and then your loved ones are the most important.
Think of a time when you were asked to do something; for example at school to make 1000 origami swans for book week (insert any task you know what we are trying to say!). You say why not, of course. What happens next? You have to work out and worry about another thing you don’t have time for but didn’t know how to say NO.
Boundaries are about knowing what YOU need to do right now and for you and your family’s wellbeing.
What you could do instead:
- Say “NO” if you really can’t do it and feel no guilt.
- Say “I have a lot on right now but I can do X” (whatever will work for you).
- Say “When things calm down a bit, and I have the time, I will check back in to see where I may help in the future.”
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Stop Comparing
We hear it all the time. While social media is a great tool (when used appropriately), it has added to our mental load burden by comparing ourselves to others.
Remember, it is one person’s highlight reel capturing the picture-perfect post. When you compare, consider thinking, is this adding to their mental load.
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De-clutter
The more organised and easy your space is to manage, the better.
This may seem like adding to the load but start small if you need and build from there.
The simplicity of ‘stuff’ dramatically decreases your load in every way.
Less stuff means less cleaning, less worrying about what can happen to it, and a home with less clutter can lead to a clearer mind.
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Seek Professionals
Like expressing yourself, asking for help from those that can and have the skills to ease your load is good – no great investment.
We all have finite time in the day, and when trying to do it all is simply impractical. This continues to feed the cycle of self doubt, fatigue and being stretched.
Need someone to clean the house to get things back in order after a busy period in life? Do it.
See an ad for those meal kits, and you know you have a thousand and one activities coming up? Get it to make it easier.
Feel like you are stuck to make changes, then seek out a coach to help move you forward and make sense of it all.
We hope this offers some help in reducing your mental load. What is the ONE thing that you’ll do next to ease YOUR mental load?
